So we are in week three of the New Year and according to Static Brain, New Year’s Resolutions usually start dropping off around this time. I’m hoping this post will give those of us that need it, a little boost of inspiration! I will be talking about the nature of New Year’s Resolutions and why I think most people (including myself) have failed at them. Plus, some tips for how to be successful in any goals we set, whether they are New Year’s Resolutions or not.
So are New’s Years Resolutions as waste of time? Yes and no. Taking a step back from our lives and reflecting on what we want to improve on is a beautiful thing. However, the expectation of a life overhaul #newyearnewme is a recipe for disaster. And you know I would never give you one of those!
I think there are a few reasons people have difficulty changing habits. I’m going to highlight them and then expand on each one.
Why People Don’t Succeed at New Year’s Resolutions:
- We try to change habits without a plan.
- We lack a deep motivation that inspires us.
- We talk in absolutes. (We are either on a diet or off our diet. Sober or not sober. On the wagon or off and if we mess up once it’s a failure.)
- We try to overhaul everything at once rather than taking baby steps.
- We don’t live in the present.
We Try to Change Habits Without a Plan:
When I moved out of my parent’s place three and a half years ago I was determined to have better habits. I was moving to a new place and was relying on the “fresh start” to become a healthier version of myself. I think a lot of us view the New Year’s Resolutions as a fresh start, a renewal, a chance to finally kick those bad habits. But the thing is any big change in our lives, metaphorical or tangible, whether it is a New Year or a new job, is not going to change our habits for us. I figured because I was buying all my groceries for the first time and setting up my room for the first time all I had to do was maintain what I was creating. I had never maintained a clean room, but all I had to do now was keep my room clean. However, I did not bother to look into any cleaning schedules or organization tools. I figured all I have to do now is avoid buying junk food with no real plan of what to cook, how to manage the cost or when I would cook for myself. How was I going to avoid eating out when I was rushing between classes?
Lean on someone. Have a plan. There are lot’s of fitness websites out there, blogs with healthy quick recipes (hi!), places with resources to help you live greener and make better choices for you, the planet and its inhabitants (hello again!) There are free meal planning guides, free workout routines, free tips on decluttering and organization, on meditation and self-love. The internet is a pretty magical thing my friends. You don’t have to go it alone! I have listed some resources for you at the bottom of the page.
Find friends that inspire you to make good habits. Hold each other accountable for you New Year’s Resolutions. Work out together, share your successes and mistakes. It is a lot harder to cut back on drinking when all your friends go out to the bar every day of the weekend. If your goal is to drink less find a friend that will stay sober with you and hold you accountable. Look up flavorful, alcohol free drinks. Write things down, work new habits into your schedule and have others support you. Don’t just assume you’ll have the willpower and knowledge to wing it! If you are serious about create new habits you have to put in some work; which brings we to the next point.
We Lack a Deep Motivation That Inspires Us:
Okay, let’s real talk for a second. Changing habits is hard. There is a reason we do the detrimental things we do to ourselves and others, and we aren’t going to be able to change them without knowing what those reasons are. These are some of the questions I asked myself when I was trying to eliminate sugar sweetened foods from my diet. Why do I find myself drawn towards sugary foods? Does it comfort me emotionally? Do I really have a strong desire to eat sweets or do I just do it without thinking twice? When I am faced with eating something sweet and I think, “This isn’t the best choice for my health”, why do I do it anyway? Am I addicted? Can I handle eating sweets in moderation? What positive associations do I have with sugar? Do I think of it as a “treat” and is that tricking me into desiring it more? What connotations do I associate with eating sugary foods? When do I crave it? Is it a certain time of day? Is it when I am dehydrated? When do I find myself eating it most? When am I not craving something sweet? Does eating something sweet satiate that desire or am I left wanting more? Am I just replacing sugar sweetened foods with equal amounts of “natural sugar”? When I eat natural sugars like dates is that propelling my craving for sugar?
How can we address the root of a problem if we can’t identify what is causing it? And maybe even more important than identifying why we have an issue is identifying why we want to change it. Why did you pick these New Year’s Resolutions? I have to level with you, because your loved one wants you to change is probably not a strong enough reason to change a habit. You have to want to change that habit for yourself and your reason has to be a strong one. This is obviously going to be personal and also vary from goal to goal, but I will share with you all why I care about eating healthy.
I don’t eat healthy because I feel guilty when I don’t. I don’t eat healthy because I feel like I have to. I eat healthy because I have a spiritual connection with my body. I know I am a host to billions of living organisms and we keep each other alive. They work tirelessly in our symbiotic relationship, trying to keep themselves, and in turn me, healthy. Am I doing my part? It is important to me to show love and respect for my body. The other reason I eat healthy is because I don’t want to miss out on life. I don’t like feeling tired or foggy brained. I don’t like having abdominal issues or tooth aches. I don’t enjoy suffering from frequent illness and allergies. I want to feel strong, sharp and ready for the adventures life brings whether they are physical or mental. The beauties life has to offer are my favorite things about life and I try to tackle them full force.
We Talk in Absolutes:
I could say this about all of these points, but I think this is a huge reason many of us fail at New Year’s Resolutions. People have a tendency to talk in absolutes. What I mean by this is we create false dilemmas by treating our habits and goals as black and white issues. We are either dieting or we are off our diet. We are either sober or on a substance again. And then when we “fail” we have to “get back on the wagon”. If you’ve gone a whole month eating healthy and you have one unhealthy meal, was all of the work you did that month a waste? Do you treat yourself as a failure now? Are you no longer on a diet now? Are you going to let yourself constantly slip up now, because you did it once? Rather than thinking, “I was off caffeine, but now I am on it again”, think, “I drank a cup of coffee, but I’m still limiting my caffeine. I am not going to make a habit of drinking it.”
It is unrealistic to think we are going to be perfect. That we are changing a habit permanently and will never slip up again. Even as I write about ethical consumerism and green living I know I still have a lot of room to grow. However, this doesn’t have to be upsetting! In fact, I find it exciting. Every time I make a less than ideal choice it is just a gentle reminder that I have more to work on. And this isn’t a bad thing! If you have read my post about 5 things you can do to become a more ethical consumer you know that being patient with yourself and others is on that list. I don’t think one is doing themselves a favor by punishing themselves for not being a better version of themselves. You are enough just the way you are, you are exactly who you should be, because this is who you are and it’s beautiful. Having compassion for ourselves, being gentle with ourselves will help us build the self esteem and confidence we need to change our habits. I promise you, negative self talk is not going to push you to be a better person, it is just going to weigh you down. Remember when I said guilting yourself is not a solid plan for changing habits? I really meant it!
We Try to Overhaul Everything at Once Rather than Taking Baby Steps:
This one may seem obvious, but I find myself doing this all the time! Once, I decided I want to start a work out routine so I started getting up 5 days a week at 5 am to go running and then watch an hours worth of work out videos. On top of that I was also trying to overhaul the way I ate and change my organizational skills and sleep habits. How silly! I just don’t have the willpower to do this on my own. I’m not even a morning person. I got sick for about a week and then I never picked it up again. It was too much too soon. There is no shame in working out three times a week for 15 minutes for a while, while I acclimate to something new. Plus, if you are trying to tackle a health issue how are you going to know what is working for you or not if you change everything at once? Think of yourself as a controlled experiment, you only want one independent variable (the thing you are changing and measuring the effects of). From that point it took me two years to feel comfortable enough in my nutritional knowledge to move onto something else.
Writing your plans out and breaking your New Year’s Resolutions down into tiny steps will make goals seem much more manageable. If you are trying to eat healthier you have to understand what that means in the first place. You have to learn how to cook. You have to figure out how you will satisfy craving in a healthy way and try to reduce them. You also have to figure out when you are going to shop and make your meals and have strategies for when you eat out. It is a lot to manage and I don’t recommend doing it all at once. As I was mentioning before, if you aren’t sure how to break down your goals into smaller steps there are a lot of resources online and I have listed a few at the bottom of this post. With that said, you know yourself better than anyone else. If you know you can’t handle moderation, maybe you should cut stuff out cold turkey, but still form a strategy for when things don’t workout according to plan.
We Don’t Live in the Present:
Every moment of every day we have an opportunity to be our best selves. Every moment you are in an argument you have an opportunity to exercise patience and compassion. Every moment you pass litter on the street you have a chance to pick it up. Every time you eat you get to decide what you are going to put in your body. Every time you make a purchase you get to decide where you are purchasing from or whether you are going to spend money at all. Every moment you drive you have the opportunity to be safe and courteous. Every time you are faced with a drink you have the choice to take it or not. If you simply ask yourself, “Am I being my best self in this moment? Am I doing the best I can for myself and the world I live in right now?” it becomes easy to make a decision you are proud of. And if you make a decision you are not proud of, that is fine to. At least you recognized you had a choice. As we have been discussing above, changing habits is not about overhauling our lives, it is about taking it one step at a time. And how are we going to be there for each step unless we are present in the moment?
Hopefully these tips inspired you a little to keep pushing forward on your New Year’s Resolutions or any goals you have set for yourself. Who cares if it is the New Year or not? Who cares if you have already given up on your New Year’s Resolutions or goals from any time? It is never to late to be the change you want to see.
If you have goals/ New Year’s Resolutions to eat healthier here are a few resources for you:
- http://www.getculturedkitchen.com/recipes/ <– Seasonal, healthy, wholefood recipes
- http://www.getculturedkitchen.com/culturing-and-fermentation/ <– Fermented food recipes
- http://nourishedkitchen.com/plan-meals/ <– Meal planner
- http://nourishedkitchen.com/recipe-index-2/#all <– Seasonal, healthy, wholefood recipes
- http://makeyourbodywork.com/best-healthy-food-blogs/ <– List of healthy food blogs for all types of diets
If you have goals/ New Year’s Resolutions to live more ethically and sustainably here are a few resources for you:
- http://www.getculturedkitchen.com/interviews/ <– Tips from sustainable businesses and me
- http://www.getculturedkitchen.com/sustainable-business-locator/ <– Find sustainable businesses based on location
- http://www.thegoodtrade.com/ <– More lists of ethical businesses
If you have exercise goals/ New Year’s Resolutions here is my favorite fitness youtuber:
- https://www.youtube.com/user/blogilates <– Free fitness videos and workout calendars, plus a lot of encouragement and positive energy
Please comment below if you have any other tips for achieving goals. Get Cultured Kitchen is a community resource and we are all supporting each other to become the best we can be for us and the world we live in. Love you fam!
